Mysteries and Madness

Madness first. I can't believe Alberto Del Rio won the Rumble... Madness! I did pick CM Punk to win it, and he had a good thing goin' with Nexus for a while there, until that meddlesome John Cena came down to the ring... Oh well, perhaps I'll predict correctly next year. I'll make my guess right now! Daniel Bryan, winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble, you heard it here first!

The 40-man Royal Rumble wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. There was a couple of moments where the ring was definitely over-crowded, but on the whole it turned out pretty well.

God do I feel bad for Booker T... Who the hell booked (no pun intended) that match, seriously.

"Oh, wow, look Chavo's back!"

*Chavo gets eliminated*

"Holy cow, Booker T is back!?"

*Booker T gets eliminated*

"Oh my god, DIESEL!!!!"

*Diesel gets eliminated*

Three returns in one night, none of them went over, and WWE puts the main focus on Diesel's return... Jesus... Like I said when Booker T got dumped over the top rope minutes after he came in, "Aaaaand now he remembers why he left..."

Now mysteries. This mysterious video aired on WWE RAW last night, and has caused a bit of buzzin'. So, who is it??

WWE's Royal Fumble?

Ladies and gentleman, mark your calendar! January 30, 2010, feast your eyes on the unprecedented 40-man Royal Rumble! Or the 40-man "What The F*ck Is Going On In There??" or the 40-man "Oh My God, ANOTHER One??" or the 40-man "We'll Be Taking a 10-Minute Commercial Break While We Rebuild The Ring".

If you couldn't tell, I'm not in love with the WWE's idea of having a 40-man Royal Rumble this year instead of the regular (like, 20 years regular) 30.

First of all, even 30 was too many at certain points. Sometimes there'd be 10 guys in the ring sluggin' it out, and the poor director backstage must just be crappin' his pants, because he can't keep it on a wide shot for five minutes straight, but as soon as he grabs a zoomed-in camera angle, he misses a big spot on the other side of the damn ring. It just doesn't work well. But 40?? I can only imagine...

Second, and this is a true story, a day before WWE announced the 40-man change, I literally thought to myself, "When we remove about six to ten Superstars who will be having regular matches at the PPV, are they even left with 30 wrestlers who could credibly be in the Rumble?" And now they have 40 spots to fill! All I'll say is I think it's a pretty safe bet that Hacksaw got a friendly phone call from Vince a few days ago...

I'm so sick of this company constantly trying to fix things that ain't broke. You know what were good Pay-Per-View names? No Way Out and Judgment Day. You know what are possibly the worst Pay-Per-View names ever created? "WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs" and "WWE Hell-in-a-Cell"!!!! What is WRONG with you!?

You know who one of the greatest wrestlers in this era is? Bryan Danielson! You know what's just mean and brainless? Changing his damn name to Daniel Bryan!!!!

Boy, someone over there needs a stern talking-to, I'll tell you that much. Stern as hell! ...I apologize, I hadn't realized there was so much anger in my heart. But seriously, I'll give the Royal Rumble a shot, it's my favorite staple match all year, but I'm not expecting greatness. I'm definitely not expecting it to be as good as it used to be, that's for sure.

Royal Rumble Predictions

Is this premature? Maybe, but the Royal Rumble might be my favorite Pay-Per-View of the year. Might be; I'd have to have an hour-long argument inside my head of Royal Rumble vs. WrestleMania, but I simply don't have the time or energy to commit to that. It's also better for me to do it now, because the earlier I predict the winner, the cooler I'll be if I actually get it right.

January 30, 2011 is the date, 30 Superstars, an hour of madness. Let's have a look at some potential names. Unfortunately, this year there really isn't a lot of potential for the Rumble to end in a way that will please me. Short of Bryan Danielson winning it but... Let's get real. Maybe next year though.

John Cena: Assuming he doesn't have a match at the Rumble. I doubt that he will though, since he'll probably squash his current beef with CM Punk over the next couple weeks, and be good to go. However if he wins, that will be unfortunate... The Rumble is supposed to make stars, give someone a shot who normally wouldn't have it. Cena does not need a Rumble win to headline WrestleMania... Sadly it just kind of happens on its own, whether we like it or not.

Sheamus: I can see this as a possibility. Like John Cena, Sheamus has already established himself as a main player, but unlike Cena, he's never won the Royal Rumble. Even after winning the big one, wrestlers still like to have "Won the Royal Rumble" on their resumés.

Wade Barrett: I'd say if he doesn't win the Rumble this year, it's lights out for Barrett. Unfortunately, he was a big fish in a small pond with Nexus. Right now, he's... like a seal frantically trying to swim away from a gigantic Great White about to do that jump out of the water, bite you in half flippy thing. And even if he does win it... I don't see him lasting very long after Mania.

John Morrison: Would be a risky move, and not something I feel like the WWE is quite ready to do yet. They gave him a couple of weeks in the main event scene, seemed like they were sort of testing him out and seeing whether or not they liked it, or trying to get a better idea of what they will do with him when it comes time for his REAL push.

Alberto Del Rio: Lot of buzz around this guy. He seems to be one of the favorites for this year. Tragic.

Jack Swagger: Possibly the sleeper choice this year. I like him, and don't really know where he went. He was beginning to remind me of a young Kurt Angle (not just because of the Ankle Lock, but it helped), and I think there's still a lot left that can be done with Swagger.

CM Punk: Seems like a good possibility to me. I like his angle right now with Nexus, but his "cult leader" persona I could do without.

Who else? Any surprises? Triple H is not coming back. Like, ever. I've heard rumors that Booker T is on his way back over, and why the hell is Batista not back yet? I heard he was coming back like, five months ago. So possibly a surprise winner this year? I also left out some of the big boys; Kane, Undertaker, Big Show. Can't see any of them winning it though... So my prediction for the 2011 Royal Rumble winner is:

CM Punk!

He just seems like the reliable choice, everyone knows he's talented, can work a mic, work a crowd, and he's yet to win the Rumble which is a key factor. Risky choice though, picking a heel, but we'll see what happens. Feel free to share your own predictions!

The Awesome Era

The referee's three-count ushered in a brand new era in the WWE last night, as The Miz successfully cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase on WWE Champion Randy Orton! Enter the Awesome Era, which, in my opinion, is going to be truly awesome. Anyone looking for a picture-perfect example of hard-work personified need look no further than Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin.

I still remember the good ol' days of 2004 (holy crow, I did NOT realize it was so long ago...), in my mother's living room watching the $1,000,000 Tough Enough competition, and telling her to come check out the Big Show slapping the piss out of all these young, green WWE hopefuls. She was disgusted, and got mad at me. But I digress. One of those hopefuls was Mike Mizanin, already rocking his monicker of 'The Miz'. The guy had charisma, that's for sure, but he was definitely not in physical WWE shape, and certainly didn't possess any outstanding professional wrestling ability.

He, along with many others, was man-handled by the 500-pound Big Show, degraded by an irate Kurt Angle, made out with Mae Young (worst of all?), and went through extensive physical exertion only to be runner-up to the walking embarrassment that was Daniel Puder. He was eliminated from the competition, but far from defeated. The saying goes, "if you want something bad enough, you can get it" and The Miz is living proof.

He was eliminated from Tough Enough on December 16, 2004, but had made a lasting impression on the WWE. He worked his tail off under a developmental contract for close to two years, before making his WWE debut on Smackdown! on April 21, 2006. And from there on, we witnessed the non-stop growth of a young man who is without a doubt going to comprise the young talent that will be the future of this business.

For the most part, Tough Enough is completely despised by the men and women in the WWE locker room. Reason being that they all had to work their ass off wrestling on the independant scene in order to catch the eye of the WWE, and these guys are given a golden opportunity to compete against FAR fewer individuals, win a million bucks and be invited into the WWE. That's why despite the opportunity, most of them don't last (see Daniel Puder's appearance in the 2005 Royal Rumble, where he got the shit chopped out of him by Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and Hardcore Holly, before being dumped over the side of the ring like a corpse, never to be seen again).

It's the guys that truly want it who will make it in this business, and it was obvious that The Miz wanted this more than anything. I mean, how amazing is it that in 2004 Mike Mizanin lost the Tough Enough competition to Daniel Puder, who didn't last a week in the business, and now, six years later, The Miz is the face of the company: the WWE Champion. I never thought I'd be able to sensibly use the words 'Cinderella' and 'WWE' in the sentence, but it seems appropriate now.

Way to go Mike, you are one of the few (lately) who TRULY deserve to have that belt around your waist, and you've convinced someone who has lost interest in the current product, to tune in once again. The company is in good hands. Scratch that, it's in AWESOME hands.