Mixed Bag

Lots to talk about this week, and I'll even throw in a requested "Remember When..." as well, so let's get 'er goin!

The WWE is as buzz-worthy as it's ever been these days, for good, bad, and simply interesting reasons.

If you don't know that the Rock has returned to the WWE by now, well then this is probably your very first time reading my blog... But yes, the Rock is "back" in the WWE now, and unfortunately, these days I am forced to put "back" in quotations. Reason being that he was nowhere to be found a few days ago on Monday Night RAW. Now I know that the millions (and millions) of the Rock's fans heard him loud and clear when he said "I give you my word; I am never, EVER going away," myself included. The way he spoke about his return, made it sound like he was finished with Hollywood, and returning to his roots, but apparently this is not the case.

Last I'd heard, the Rock still has no intentions of wrestling another match, and the WWE is currently trying to talk him into doing one more at SummerSlam against John Cena. Sigh... So much for all of my fantasy matches. But this leaves me with one burning question: If the Rock isn't coming back full-time, then what in "the bluuuuest of blue hells" did he mean??? I get the unfortunate feeling that perhaps he was so high on the reception of his return, that he said something he (probably) now regrets.

Either way, we have an amaaaaazing-looking WrestleMania weekend to look forward to! The Rock as the host for the evening - John Cena vs. The Miz - Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio - CM Punk vs. Randy Orton - HBK inducted into the Hall of Fame...

And the latest development, Triple H vs. The Undertaker!! What a moment this past Monday night, as 2/21/11 was upon us, and The Undertaker made his 13th (real stat) return the WWE. Just as a side note, LOVED Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave" as a theme song for Taker... As he made his slow and painful way down to the ring, and as some of us were saying "Zzzzzzz... Same old," that familiar Motorhead riff boomed throughout the arena, and here comes The Game!! Great moment in WWE, and very nice to see that both veterans aren't so self-absorbed as to not be willing to SHARE a return, in order to make a great moment for the fans.

Personally, I think Taker and Triple H could tear the house down at Mania. Triple H can still go, Taker can still go once a year... I think it'll be an awesome showdown between two future Hall of Famers. But I will tell you this right now, if Triple H wants to really impress people, and not have smarks worldwide hate his guts for all of eternity, he WILL put Taker over. I've said it for years, that if anyone is EVER going to break Taker's Mania streak, it is going to be a young prospect that the WWE would need to have an insane amount of trust and belief in. To have Triple H end Takers streak, at this point in his (Triple H's) career, would truly be tragic. The question is: Does Taker have another Mania left in him to be able to give that enormous honour to someone who truly deserves it?

There's still a lot of room left on the WrestleMania card, and I think the WWE would be stupid not to have Evan Bourne perhaps compete in his return match against the WWE's latest talent acquisition: Mistico!! Mistico, who will be known as Sin Cara in the WWE, has successfully been brought to the WWE from EMLL in Mexico, and this guy is a truly phenomenal wrestler. The WWE had their eyes on him a few years ago, and I think it's a shame they didn't bring him in when he was even younger than he is now (28). It would have been nice to give him that extra time to really cement his legacy in the WWE, but also because Rey Mysterio would have been younger! At this point, I'm not even sure if I'm interested in seeing a Mistico vs. Mysterio match, Rey's knees are too bunged up (Fubar reference...). But Mistico vs. Bourne? All I can say is next topic, I'm ruining my Macbook with all this drool...


Welcome, Sin Cara, to the WWE! Looking forward to plenty of great matches.



Hey remember when Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero went at it for five damn months?? Some of the greatest wrestling that's ever been aired. It all started at Wrestlemania 21 on April 3, 2005, in a singles match between the two, which remains one of my favorite matches of all time. It was the very first match of the night, and talk about setting the bar high.

Oh the ups and downs we endured with this feud, most notably Eddie declaring that HE was actually the father of Rey's little boy, Dominick. That storyline would culminate in one of the best ladder matches of all time, and also one of the most ridiculously named matches of all time. Picture this on the marquee: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a 'Custody of Dominick Ladder Match'! It was just so ironic to have such a gimmicky-named match be such a barn burner.

I can't remember exactly how many matches the two had together, but it was a LOT, and Rey was winning every single one them. The feud ended on September 9, 2005, on Friday Night Smackdown! when the two faced off in a Steel Cage Match. Eddie would pick up his first win in the feud, Frog Splashing down on top of him for the three-count. And he would also tragically die two months later. Thanks for the great memories, Eddie!


RIP

Mysteries and Madness

Madness first. I can't believe Alberto Del Rio won the Rumble... Madness! I did pick CM Punk to win it, and he had a good thing goin' with Nexus for a while there, until that meddlesome John Cena came down to the ring... Oh well, perhaps I'll predict correctly next year. I'll make my guess right now! Daniel Bryan, winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble, you heard it here first!

The 40-man Royal Rumble wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. There was a couple of moments where the ring was definitely over-crowded, but on the whole it turned out pretty well.

God do I feel bad for Booker T... Who the hell booked (no pun intended) that match, seriously.

"Oh, wow, look Chavo's back!"

*Chavo gets eliminated*

"Holy cow, Booker T is back!?"

*Booker T gets eliminated*

"Oh my god, DIESEL!!!!"

*Diesel gets eliminated*

Three returns in one night, none of them went over, and WWE puts the main focus on Diesel's return... Jesus... Like I said when Booker T got dumped over the top rope minutes after he came in, "Aaaaand now he remembers why he left..."

Now mysteries. This mysterious video aired on WWE RAW last night, and has caused a bit of buzzin'. So, who is it??

Top Ten Favorite Wrestlers

Well folks, I am tired and busy and think I'm coming down with a nice, juicy flu, so rather than delve deep into my intellectual pro wrestling thoughts, I'm going to whip up my own personal Top Ten List of my favorite wrestlers, past and present. I'll also be introducing my first poll to the blog, hopefully some visitors will take part in that if they don't want to leave comments. So here we go!

10) Matt Sydal: I remember seeing one of his Ring of Honor matches on TV, can't remember who it was against, and being absolutely blown away. The things this guy can do in the air, and how flexible and athletic he is, it's truly awe-inspiring. Definitely the Rey Mysterio of this generation, in the way he is re-defining high-flyers.

9) AJ Styles: AJ Styles is the perfect blend of technical wrestling, and high-flying. I love how crisp almost every single thing he does in the ring is. Very impressive to watch.

8) Jeff Hardy: You either love him or you hate him. A lot of people call Jeff a "spot monkey" or a "glorified stunt man", but I don't see how you can take anything away from a guy who continuously puts so much of his well-being on the line for our entertainment. Jeff has been the driving force behind multiple 'Holy Shit!' moments for me, and I will always have a great deal of respect for him.

7) The Rock: Not a lot of explanation needed here. The Rock is professional wrestling. Not Hulk "I have a tummy ache, sorry" Hogan. He was the height of charisma, and the height of athletic ability, and the two met at the top to combine into some of the most entertaining television you'll ever see.

6) Kurt Angle: Contrary to the chant that will always accompany his (WWE) entrance music, Kurt Angle does not suck. Kurt Angle is an amazing amateur wrestler, and brings out the best in his opponents. I love his physicality, and how intense his matches are. And damnit if Kurt Angle couldn't be funniest son of a bitch on WWE programming sometimes. I think I might just have to post 'Sexy Kurt' at the end of this entry...

5) Bryan Danielson: The guy was fired in, what, his first couple weeks with the company? And the outcry by the fans was so great, that they actually brought him back. That says a LOT about a guy's talent. When does the WWE EVER listen to it's fans??? Bryan Danielson vs. Chris Benoit might be the very first thing I request to see upon reaching the pearly gates.

4) Randy Orton: Recently Orton seems to have contracted "Stone Cold Syndrome". The disease of being such an amazing heel, that people start to cheer you, and all of a sudden you're a babyface, but you don't really have to alter your personality whatsoever! I hear a lot of people say Orton is crap on the mic, but I think he's awesome. You guys know he's trying to generate heat right...?

3) Chris Jericho: I don't even really know why, but there's just something so insulting about being called a 'parasite'... Another guy who is incapable of having a bad match. And one of the few who still has a credible submission hold. I miss hearing a pop for a submission attempt... But Danielson is bringing it back!

2) Eddie Guerrero: It takes a lot to truly amaze me when it comes to pro wrestling, but the way Eddie could hold a crowd in the palm of his hand, was amazing. Good guy, bad guy, it was truly up to him, not you. I definitely took him granted, as I'm sure most of us did, and would give anything to see one more Eddie Guerrero match.

1) Chris Benoit: If I actually had a decent amount of people commenting, I'd say something like "This is probably going to create some controversy..." Benoit didn't have a lot of traditional charisma, but he had his own personal type of charisma. And it was all in the ring. Holy smokes could that guy go. So physical, and so flawless. His Northern Lights Suplex will probably always be my single-favorite wrestling move to see. HIS. Not only did we lose a fantastic wrestler back in 2007, but we lost a fantastic legacy and it truly is a shame.

So there it is, like it or not, those are MY top ten favorite wrestlers to date! It's hard to cut it down to ten, but there ya go. Talk about your own, disagree with mine, whatever you like! Take us home, Kurt!

Tribute to the Fans

I’ve been a Professional Wrestling fan for about seven years now. Over the course of these years, I’ve been privileged to attend about six or seven live WWE shows. The shows each varied in significance, from a non-televised house show to WrestleMania 23, but no matter the grandeur, there is one thing that seems to stay constant throughout: the fans. A quick scan around the arena can usually give me a pretty good idea of what kinds of fans are in attendance. It doesn’t take an in depth conversation with the individual to recognize which category they fall in to.

First there’s the ‘mark’. A mark is a wrestling term, used to define someone who cannot separate fiction from reality when it comes to Pro Wrestling. Marks are wrestling fans at heart, but for all the wrong reasons. They have absolutely no concept of the matches being pre-determined, or the characters and personalities being staged. Marks can most often be seen on YouTube, in self-shot videos, chastising Kane for burying The Undertaker alive, and tragically ending his life. Or standing from their seats, hand-over-mouth and wide-eyed after seeing John Cena dumped through a wooden table. Marks will forever be a source of laughter to more educated fans, and they will forever wonder why.

Next is the ‘smark’, which is simply a play off the previous term, to stand for ‘smart mark’. Smarks are just as big of fans as marks, only they have a firm understanding of the ins and outs of the business. Smarks understand that every match is pre-determined, and that there is a lot of acting involved in the personalities portrayed in the ring. Smarks will often have knowledge of backstage politics, or certain wrestlers’ personal lives. Smarks can often be seen cheering for the heels (bad guys) and booing the babyfaces (good guys), since they have grown weary of seeing the stereotypical ‘Superman saves the day’ win.

‘Dedicated fans’ are a rare breed but by far the easiest to spot. They are typically 35+ but not exclusively. Dedicated fans are dressed head to toe in WWE clothing and merchandise. They are usually wearing a WWE brand baseball cap, t-shirt, armbands, and jeans. But they’re not finished yet. Slung over their shoulder is a $250 replica championship belt, in one hand is the program for the evening and they could very well be carrying a WWE plush toy or other paraphernalia. Dedicated fans are usually seen walking the halls around the concession booths, and not in their seats, simply because they’ve been to so many events that seeing the show isn’t of high priority to them; they come for the atmosphere… and to show off their merchandise.

‘Clueless fans’ are also fairly easy to spot, and the majority tends to be comprised by one sub-category: girlfriends. Clueless fans typically have no desire to be in attendance, and don’t watch the programming regularly. They view Pro Wrestling as a bunch of rednecks throwing fake punches at one another, and can often be overheard saying, “who’s that?” and “what just happened?” Clueless fans can be seen blowing bubbles with their gum, twirling their hair, looking annoyed, and texting.

Last and least are ‘the crazies’. The scary thing about the crazies is that they cannot be easily identified at first; they fit no standard physical definition. But once the crazies reveal themselves, there is simply no mistaking them. They can be seen either in the arena, at a show, or just in a regular setting with a wrestler present. The crazies can be seen leaping out of their seats and rushing in to the ring to confront a wrestler, or verbally and physically assaulting a wrestler in an everyday setting. They can then immediately be seen being punched in the face by Eddie Guerrero or Chris Jericho, among others, and dragged off by security.

So whether or not you’ve ever been to a Pro Wrestling show in your life, chances are if you sat down in attendance at one, you would fall into one of these five categories. Together they make up the classic atmosphere of a Professional Wrestling event. Try to spot each one the next time you’re out at a show, like a twisted game of bingo. And if you don’t spot a crazy, then you may just have to suit up and fill that role yourself.

The Wounded

May 16, 2004 -- As Eddie Guerrero wanders unknowingly towards the side of the announcer's table, John Bradshaw Layfield turns suddenly, steel chair in hand, and blasts Eddie with sickening force, right on the top of his head. The sickening sound of steel on bone resonates through the arena, as Guerrero crumples to the ground.

Moments later we are greeted with a horrific sight: As Eddie sits upright, his back against the fan barricade, blood cascades out of a gash in his forehead, covering his face and chest in mere seconds. The bleeding is profuse and uncontrollable. What would normally be considered a medical emergency goes untreated for 15 minutes, and Guerrero loses a drastic amount of blood as he finishes the match.

January 7, 2007 -- Triple H aggressively lifts Randy Orton to deliver his signature Spinebuster. At the point of impact, however, something is clearly wrong as Triple H clutches his right thigh, in agony. When his knee impacted the mat, the force tore his right quadriceps muscle (the largest muscle in the human body) right off the bone.

Triple H knew he was severely hurt, and communicated it to the three other men in the ring with him, as well as the referee, yet received no immediate medical attention, wrestled for over 10 more minutes with only one good leg, and finished the match. He would later undergo major surgery to repair the damage, and be sidelined for over eight months.

These are just two of countless other examples of WWE Superstars working through injury, something that is hard for a lot of people to understand. It seems odd to wrestle through a ruptured muscle, or a broken bone, or a severely lacerated head-wound, but it happens more often than you might think. Their is a sacred phrase in the Pro Wrestling universe, and that is simply "The show must go on." and anyone who chooses to lace up a pair of boots, needs to quickly learn to adopt this philosophy.

Half of it is passion. The undying drive to put on a good show for the fans, no matter what happens. The cameras are on, the lights are shining bright, and the fans are chanting your name. It would be hard for anyone to just pack it in, in spite of an injury.

The other half is kayfabe. From the moment the WWE logo appears on your TV screen, to the moment it's made its departure, the talent is living and breathing in kayfabe. Someone gets hurt during a match? Good, that's probably what their opponent said he was going to do to him. There are no breaks to get a doctor out to the ring and take a look at him, that is directly breaking kayfabe, and breaking kayfabe when the cameras are on is a gigantic no-no.

As a bit of an aside, breaking kayfabe in Pro Wrestling, would be like Rachel calling Ross "David" on Friends, and having it air.

Though some people may call it sheer stupidity and moronically reckless, there is a lot to be said for the dedication wrestlers have to their profession and their fans. To them, the show is #1 and everything else comes second. We should all be so lucky to find something that we're equally passionate about.

As of late, WWE has taken a much more family-friendly approach to their programming (something I will surely blog about later) and there are much fewer incidents like the ones I mentioned above, due to new "rules" being put into effect such as no more chair shots to the head, which can be partly credited to the discovery of extensive brain damage on Chris Benoit's brain (another topic I will cover here eventually.)

For those of you who stuck around to the end, you are rewarded (or possibly punished) with video footage of the two incidents mentioned at the top of the blog! Please be warned, things cannot be "unseen" in life, and if you are at all squeamish at the sight of blood, do NOT watch the Eddie Guerrero clip. I realize that now it is like a car crash, and you simply must look, but please be warned that it is extremely graphic not to mention mind-boggling that someone could lose so much blood and live to talk about it. The Triple H clip is harmless, though very interesting.

So whether you like Pro Wrestling, you hate it, or you just don't care, all I'm trying to do is help these guys earn a little more respect for what they do, and hey, maybe next time you hear someone talking about "all that ketchup on his face" you can say "Hey man! That shit's real!" Eddie Guerrero would appreciate it!

Eddie Guerrero at Judgment Day '04

Triple H at New Years Revolution '07

NOTE: Just as an interesting but related side-note, Chris Jericho actually attributes the fact that he's never sustained an in-ring injury, to being raised in Winnipeg. He says the cold makes us "Vikings", and you are welcome to take that however you please ;-)